


time after time- solo triplets a.u.

by b4mbibabe, pissbabykylo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Minor Violence, Recreational Drug Use, Sex, Underage Drinking, Verbal Abuse, premarital handholding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23590294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b4mbibabe/pseuds/b4mbibabe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissbabykylo/pseuds/pissbabykylo
Summary: You grew up with the Solo triplets. You were next-door neighbors, and childhood best friends- practically inseparable. Years after the prologue is set, you're all grown up, and you have completed your first year in college. You come back home for the summer, reuniting with your estranged friends after a year, noticing that the dynamic has changed since you all were in high school- you aren't little kids anymore.WE DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE STAR WARS FRANCHISE!
Relationships: Ben Organa-Solo/Reader, Ben Organa-Solo/You, Ben Solo & Reader, Ben Solo & You, Ben Solo/Reader, Ben Solo/You
Comments: 15
Kudos: 59
Collections: Thirst Order Triplet AU





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> to fiji, luci, k.j., zosia, and mia.
> 
> love, deanna & jazz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're five years old, and you are playing hide-and-seek with your best friends and neighbors, the Solo triplets.

_The pitter-patter of three children's footsteps running down the wooden staircase was impossible to ignore. The sacred game of hide and seek had just begun. All the lights in the house had been shut off pre-game to ensure a more "exciting" game. Although you were terrified of the dark, you decided not to make a big deal out of it in front of the boys to prevent them from taunting you. Shuffling around the rooms of the house, the wooden floors creak, causing your anxiety to perk up._

_Darkness consumed every speck of light the house had ever known but somehow you still managed to notice Kylo running into the downstairs closet on the left side of the hallway. With his heavy thumps against the floor, you take a deep breath and follow him. Although this was all just a game, you feel your heart thump with the pressure of finding a good spot. Although the dark ominous hallway always freaked you out the most, you followed him hoping to score a good spot. You assumed he always knew better since he was the most mature._

_"10...11...12...", Matt exclaims, making sure everyone could hear him._

_Kylo goes to shut the closet door behind him but you grab a hold of it, causing him to turn around in shock. His dark, moody eyes search you, his eyebrows furrowing with that mixed look of annoyance and frustration. You feel your heart skip a beat, as his luminous figure towers over you._

_"Let me hide with you", you whisper with anticipation, gulping. Even though you were surrounded by a blanket of darkness, you noticed his facial expression turn into a frown as you hear an aggravated sigh exit his mouth. "No. Now go find another spot", he says annoyed, trying to close the door. You grasp the handle, not letting him close it fully. You hear a sigh, and peak through the small crack. "Pleasseeeee. I promise to be quiet" you plead, hoping your face looked like a begging puppy dog. "No Deanna. Leave me alone", Kylo says while slightly raising his voice just enough to still have it pass as a whisper. Your heart drops with disappointment, but what did you think would happen? Kylo's always been like this._

_"18...19...20... ready or not, here I come!", Matt yells as he throws open his bedroom door. Your heartbeat speeds up as you hear his footsteps make their way through the upstairs hallway, almost reaching the top of the staircase. You freeze, standing as still as a statue. You hear Matt's footsteps and you take a shaky breath. You did not want to lose, this game was too sacred to be ruined._

_You turn back to the closet and see that Kylo has already shut himself inside. "Leave", he says once again. You stick out your tongue at him, well knowing he can't see you. It's the thought that counts. As you're scanning the rest of the hallway for an available hiding spot you hear a voice coming from the basement door. "Pssst. Over here", a voice calls. "It's me, Ben." Although that's who you assumed it was, you were relieved to know that the mysterious voice wasn't some kind of ghost. The basement door widens and you see Ben's head pop out. His resemblances to Kylo always seem to shock you, even though you see them almost every day. He makes a hand motion telling you to come inside with him. You hesitated. The basement frightened you especially since it was darker than ever down there._

_You hear Matt close the bathroom door and realize that your only options were the unknowns of whatever the basement held or being made fun of for being the first to get caught once again. Without making a sound, you make your way inside the basement and Ben closes the door behind you._

_By now Matt had reached the bottom of the stairs and began scanning the living room. Ben begins to make his way down the basement stairs but realizes you hadn't moved. You didn't realize it but were frozen, staring down into the dark. "Deanna, what's wrong? Why aren't you following me?" Ben says concerned. You hated to admit it but you didn't want to leave Ben hanging. "I-I'm scared... scared of the dark", you say as you look down at the floor. Ben smiles and lets out a small laugh under his breath. "It's not funny!", you say in an annoyed tone. Ben makes his way back up to you. "I know. C'mon. It'll be okay... I'm here", Ben says reassuringly._

_You smile. You always felt safe with Ben and you knew he would always be there to protect you. He held out his hand and without hesitation, you took hold of it. He guided both of you down the stairs and the fear that once consumed you whole was gone._

_Once you reached the basement floor, Ben pointed over to what you could only make out as a workstation, signaling that you'll both be hiding underneath it for the remainder of the game. You both crouched and plopped yourselves down on the dust-covered cement floor. After a few minutes of listening to the creaking of Matt's feet making impressions on the hardwood, they stopped. Not even a half a second later you heard the sound of the closet door opening and Matt shouted with glee. "Got ya!", Matt exclaimed. "It's not fair! I didn't have enough time! Deanna made too much noise!", Kylo argued. You could tell he was infuriated and blamed you for his loss, although you hadn't done anything wrong._

_Then almost as fast as it had disappeared, silence overcame the house. No footsteps, no more complaints from Kylo, just silence. You listened, waiting for a sound, any sound besides the loud beating of your heart. Sweat poured down the sides of your face as you waited. "Please go away. Please turn around and walk the other way", you thought. You wanted to win this time._

_Then all of a sudden, the basement door flew open and it made a loud bang as it hit the wall. You swore the whole house shook. Your heart immediately skipped a beat. Next thing you knew, the basement light was turned on and the room was illuminated, and exposed every inch of the room._

_"Ewwwwwww. Gross!" Kylo said pointing at you as Matt laughed. The look of complete amusement on their face confused you. "Was it really that funny that I didn't win?", you thought. Then it hit you like a brick to the face. Your fingers had been interlocked with Ben's the whole time without even realizing it. Your cheeks glowed red as you looked up at Ben. His cheeks were almost brighter than yours. You instantly let go and turned away from each other out of embarrassment._

_With Kylo and Matt still laughing, you began to feel anger boiling inside of you. As you were about to give them a piece of your mind you hear the front door open. "Kids! I'm home and I've got a surprise for you!" Han (their father) shouted from the doorway._

_They vanished from the basement entrance and began racing to greet their father and the new surprise. You crawled out of underneath the now visible workbench and dusted off your leggings. They had turned a shade of grey due to the dust. With your cheeks still red, you tried to hide your face by looking at the ground the whole time. Although you couldn't see it, Ben had been doing the same. After dusting himself off, he looked back at you and decided you probably didn't want to speak about it, so he left. Truth be told, even if you did, you most likely wouldn't have been able to utter a single word. You were in a state of shock._

_When he finally exited the room, you were able to take control of yourself again. Remembering Han's surprise he mentioned, you ran upstairs as fast as you could. Surprisingly you didn't slip._

_When you reached the living room you realized everyone had been waiting for you. You still refused to make eye contact with anyone but you could feel their stares, waiting for you to take a seat. You sat down on the floor and crossed your legs, avoiding having to sit next to anyone else. You noticed Han had a cardboard box on the floor next to him and immediately knew what the surprise was. "I know you boys have been wanting this for so long, and your mother and I think you guys are finally ready to handle it. Now, with this comes a lot of responsibility but I'm sure it won't be a challenge since there's three of you, well, four, including you, Munchkin. You're basically a part of this family so it's your responsibility too as well." Han announced with a smile; he always made you feel welcome._

_The boys were getting anxious now and were complaining about how long Han's speech was taking. You were beginning to get anxious, too. "Well, without further adieu, welcome the newest member to the Solo family!", Han said as he opened the box. The box fell over and a puppy jumped out. It began running around the room, only stopping to sniff random objects. The boys jumped up in excitement. They chased the dog, trying to grab a hold of their new pet. Its speed increased and you watched the boys run around trying to avoid bumping into any furniture._

_Kylo finally snatched it off the ground while Matt and Ben stood around him. The dog began chewing on Kylo's sleeves. Surprisingly, Kylo wasn't mad and their faces glowed with excitement. You stood up and decided you wanted to see the dog for yourself. You had never owned a pet and even though the dog technically wasn't yours, you knew it was going to be a big part of your life. As soon as it noticed you making your way over, it leaped out of Kylo's arms. Out of curiosity, the boys let the dog go. You fell on your knees and embraced the dog in your arms. Shocked, they stood still and watched as the dog began licking your face. "This is definitely my dog", You thought to yourself, feeling as content as a child could ever be._

_"Well, what are we gonna name it?" Kylo asked._

_"What about Randy?" Matt asked._

_"Randy is a stupid name!" Ben retorted._

_"Well, Ben, do you have an idea?" Kylo retorted, defending his baby brother (by like, ten minutes)._

_"Well, um, no."_

_"How about... Chewie since he loves chewing on our clothes?" You said, observing that the puppy was gnawing on your shoelaces._

_The boys all agreed, which was surprising, as they rarely do._

_"Hi, Chewie!" You said, picking the tiny pup up once again. He licked your face, as you giggled._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝑯𝒊 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔! 𝑱𝒂𝒛𝒛 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆 𝒐𝒇 "𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆"!
> 
> 𝑭𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒖𝒔!
> 
> 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔
> 
> 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛:
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒍7𝒏
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒚𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛472


	2. chapter one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You return to your hometown for summer vacation after your first year in college.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we have arrived at Ann Arbor Municipal Airport. Thank you for choosing Delta Airlines!” As the announcement ended, you removed your headphones, collecting your things, and you exited the plane, heading into bag collections. Turning your phone off of airplane mode, you see that you have received a voice message from your mom.

_ “Hi, honey! I’m really sorry, but I got tied up in the hospital and I’m afraid I won’t be able to pick you up from the airport. Don’t worry though! I got one of your little friends to pick you up! I’ll be home late, so make yourself comfortable! Love you! Bye!.”  _

You sighed disappointedly, even though you weren’t really surprised by these occurrences, as your mother was the chief of surgery, but, still, you haven’t seen your mother since she came for Christmas more than six months ago. Her tumultuous schedule made it difficult for her to visit you at school, and you were looking forward to spending some time with her tonight because you had a stressful trip.

You tried to take your mind off of it to prevent stressing out on your first day back, so you opened Spotify and put your playlist on shuffle. “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac began playing. It felt so strange, so alien, to be returning home after your first year in college in New York City. The smell of cigarettes- which you had gotten used to ever since you moved to the city, was now a stranger to you as the fresh suburban air filled your lungs. You had just stepped out of the airport, and a small pang of anxiety hit you, for some indescribable reason. You saw a familiar white Prius, and a familiar curly-haired blonde honking his “La Cucaracha” horn that was awfully cheesy but after hearing it since you were fifteen- when he would drive you to school every day, you had gotten used to it. 

The car pulled over and even though you already recognized who the driver was, you were surprised to see Matt Solo get out of the vehicle. You immediately ran over to greet him as he was trying to pop open the trunk.

“Matty!” You exclaimed, dropping your suitcases to the side and hugging your childhood friend.

“Hey, munchkin!” He said. You smiled at the affectionate nickname he and the other members of the Solo family had given you when you were a child. It never got old, and now that you were about a foot shorter than the triplets, it still fit.

“Let me get that for you,” He smiled, as he grabbed your luggage off the ground, placing it into the trunk.

“Thanks, I could’ve gotten that though, you know.” You playfully retorted under your breath. 

“Still the same old Y/N, I see…” The artificial blonde said as he lifted his glasses up his nose.

Matt closed the trunk and made his way over to the passenger seat. He opens the door for you and closes it once you get inside. You smile at the kind gesture and he nods in response.

“You strapped in?” He asked as he put his seatbelt on and meticulously checked the mirrors.

You nodded, as he turned the car and the radio on, and “It Won’t Be Long” by the Beatles started playing. Matt began humming the lyrics to the song, and you sat there admiring the changes that the car had gone through- it was still neat, but the upholstery had a few scratches and stains, and it no longer reeked of Ben’s weed.

“So, how’s school?” You asked, breaking the silence. 

“Oh! Um, Michigan’s pretty good! I, um, the engineering program is outstanding, and I work for this office part-time for IT. I’m pretty happy.” He smiled. “How about you? How’s NYU?” 

“It’s amazing. I mean, I am still getting used to navigating the subway, but I love it there. When are you gonna visit me?” You asked, with a smile.

“I was thinking about stopping by a few times, and I even bought a ticket once, but my schedule never complied with me,” Matt shrugged.

“Oh.” Matt and you occasionally texted once every so often, but since you both had a lot going on, it was hard to catch up with one another as much as you both wanted to. To be honest, Matt was the only one you managed to keep in touch with, as Kylo was absolutely terrible on the phone in general, and Ben, well, he’s just Ben.

“Anything new with ya?” He asked as he made a left turn.

“Nothing really, I mean I’m dating this guy.” You answered, pulling the sleeves of your sweater with your fists and crossed your arms because Matty always kept his car freezing cold.

“Oh wow, really? What’s he like?”

“Well, his name is Jake, we met at a party, and he’s a film major. We’ve been together for about, um, eight months, now?” You answered, pausing to calculate how long it actually had been.

“Wow, so it must be pretty serious, yeah?”

You nodded. “Well, I guess you could say that I’m kinda surprised that we’ve been together for so long.” You trailed off, continuing to play with your sleeves. Matt frowned as he noticed your demeanor change.

“So, how are the boys?” You continued, quickly changing the subject.

“Well, Kylo’s enjoying Brown, of course. He got an internship at this really cool law firm.” 

“Wow, that’s amazing!” You smiled proudly. You knew he would always have a bright future since Kylo was the one who had planned out what he wanted since he was a kid, as the more mature and responsible one of the Solo Triplets. 

“What about Ben?” You said anxiously. 

“Well, nothing has really changed with him, of course, you know how he is. He’s working hard at school, still hasn’t decided on a major yet, though.”

“Does he still work at the shop?” You interjected curiously. 

“Yeah, actually, and he started working as a bartender at this new club a couple of months ago. He really likes it,” Matt responds. 

“That’s good. I’m happy for him,” You said as you turned your attention to the window, admiring the scenery. You wished he would’ve said more about Ben, relationship-wise, but you decided that wasn’t important. You were only just a little curious after all. 

“He’s not seeing anyone, not that you would care though,” Matt says impishly as if he had stepped into your mind and knew exactly what you were thinking. You immediately felt your heart drop even though you were slightly relieved. 

_ “You have a boyfriend, Y/N”,  _ you thought to yourself. 

“Coo-coo-cool.” You responded, attempting to be as casual as possible. 

“Do you think Chewie will remember me?” You asked, wanting to distract your mind from your own thoughts. 

“Y/N of course, Are you kidding? It’s only been a year. I swear that old dog loves you more than any of us,” Matt says laughing under his breath. You missed Chewie’s presence, he was always able to cheer you up. 

“Well one year for us is technically seven for dogs, so,” You joked.

“That’s not how-”

“I know Matty,” You say as you roll your eyes and laugh. 

“Speaking of the family, would you like to stop by for dinner? Mom’s making your favorite.” 

“Oh my god, is she making….”

“Yep-”

“Chikkie Parm!” You both said in unison, you in a more enthusiastic tone than of your counterpart.

“Of course I’m coming, you dummy,” You say without hesitation. You’ve missed Leia’s cooking since all you’ve been eating is instant ramen and whatever was being served at the dining hall to save money. “I just need to stop by my house to freshen up.” You continued. 

Looking out the window, you noticed that Matt had turned into the neighborhood you once grew up in, giving you an automatic pang of nostalgia. It only had been a year since you had left, but it felt like it had been a decade since you were here last.

“Alrighty then!” Matty said as he pulled into your driveway. “Has llegado a tu destino, senalita” Matty adds, attempting to speak in his broken Spanish, which was surprisingly a class that he struggled in during high school. “ ¡ Gracias, mi amigo!” You replied, as you opened the car door and made your way toward the trunk.

“I gotcha, Y/N.” Matty says, stepping out. 

“I forget how sweet you are.” You smile, as he grabs both of your suitcases. You grab your backpack and you shut the trunk. You examined the front of the house as if it were not your own. The rose bush that your mother had always prided on, the cobblestone pathway that led to the mahogany french doors, the “welcome” sign with the sunflowers that greeted guests. They all brought back so many memories. 

Matt followed you as you walked to the front door and patiently waited as you unlocked it. Just standing by the threshold, the smell of your childhood home- vanilla, your mother’s signature scent- greeted your nostrils and filled your lungs.

“Ugh, I’ve missed this,” The feeling of coming back home overwhelmed you with bliss and you threw yourself onto your living room couch. 

“I can tell,” He chuckled, placing your bags on the floor and sitting next to you.

“Thank you so much, Matty, for everything. It means a lot.” You placed a kiss on his cheek.

“It was no problem. When your mom called me this morning, I obviously couldn’t refuse. It’s you, Y/N.” He rambled, scratching his neck.

“Well uh, I know you must be beat, so I’ll see you at seven tonight?” 

You nod, giving him a big hug. “Of course!”

You walk Matt out and you say your goodbyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝑯𝒊 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔! 𝑱𝒂𝒛𝒛 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 "𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆"!
> 
> 𝑭𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒖𝒔!
> 
> 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔
> 
> 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛:
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒍7𝒏
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒚𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛472


	3. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your boyfriend, Jake calls to check up on you after your flight.

You had been about halfway through with unpacking when you noticed your phone ringing. You answered it, not paying attention to the caller ID.

“Hey, babe.”

It was your boyfriend, Jake. Clearing your throat, you responded, and put him on speaker, so you could continue to unpack hands-free.

“Hey.” You replied, a slight bitterness in your voice, as you placed some t-shirts inside of your dresser.

“So, uh, how was your flight?” He asked. You knew he was only pretending to care.

 _“Wow, thanks for asking, especially when you neglected to drop me off”,_ was what you had wanted to say, but with how exhausted you had been, the last thing you had wanted to do was to start an argument with your boyfriend.

“It was fine. Matt picked me up.” You responded casually, folding more clothes.

“Matt? Who’s Matt?” _Fuck._ You could hear his voice tense up. He was upset.

“Matt- he was one of the boys I grew up with? My next-door-neighbor? I feel like I’ve mentioned him plenty of times.” You stammer, trying to prevent things from becoming worse.

“Well. I thought you said that your mom was going to pick you up?” He interrogated, making you assume the worst.

_“It shouldn't be that big of a deal.” You thought in silence._

“She had a work emergency.” You mumbled, assuming that response would be sufficient.

“So, you’re telling me that your mother couldn’t pick you up, so she had to have some random guy pick you up from the airport?”

“Matt isn’t a _random guy_ , babe. I’ve known him and his brothers since we were babies-” You tried to explain, but Jake had a fixed mindset when he was upset, and you know there was no turning back at that point.

You could sense that this would be another one of _those_ fights, and you regretted telling him about Matt, in general knowing how possessive he tends to get.

“I feel like you are hiding something from me, Y/N. At least tell me the truth, I am your _boyfriend after all_...”

“Do you not trust me? We have been together for almost nine months, and you still think that every guy I’m friends with is trying to sleep with me. Well, this isn’t the case.”

“I’m only saying this because I care about you.” He had a condescending tone when he replied, which made you feel more insecure than ever.

“Really Jacob? You neglected to drop me off at the airport this morn-”

“Tico needed help with his portfolio-”

“Well, Tico could have waited. I had to take the freaking train to LaGuardia, at five in the morning, because I couldn’t get a taxi.”

You had become agitated with this conversation. Usually, you wouldn’t snap at him like this, but at this point, you didn’t know what to do. You were exhausted and wanted to enjoy your first day back, especially after traveling for so long, and the only thing you wanted was for your boyfriend to have some sympathy.

“Y/N, you talk all this shit about being an “independent woman” or whatever, and yet you’re whining about bullshit? Damn, Y/N, you’re so selfish, you know that?” He spat, raising his voice.

You zoned out, as he continued to ramble.

_“Selfish. He thought I was selfish?”_

“..and you’re supposed to be gone, for what? Two months? How is that supposed to make me feel, knowing my girlfriend is gone for so long? ...What, are you gonna fuck this guy? ...What am I supposed to do? Stay home all day with Tico and the boys? Damn, you’re so inconsiderate…”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re totally right, babe. I’m sorry. I was wrong.” You replied defeatedly, eyes beginning to water. At this point, you knew that the only way to shut Jake up was to act as if he was right.

You abhorred when he was angry like this. When you first got together, he was kind, selfless, smart, talented...That’s who you fell in love with, not whoever this was.

“Of course, I am,” He muttered cockily. “Tico’s calling me, so I gotta go.”

“Alright. I lo-” He hung up before you could finish your phrase. You took a deep breath and paused for a moment. The water that had been building up in your eyes began to fall. This isn’t how you imagined your first day back home would go.

All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry it all but, you knew you didn’t have any time for that, after all, you only had two hours until dinner, and you needed to at least try and attempt to make yourself look decent. Although the last thing you would like to do is to go _anywhere_ , you knew that going to the Solo household would ameliorate you.

You decided that to alleviate your stress and tension, a shower would be the best option. After entering your bathroom, you stripped from your travel attire, and turned the faucet on, putting your hand under the water to make sure the temperature was just right. Stepping into the shower, you instantaneously felt as if your petty problems were over; that stupid argument with Jake was washed away, as you lathered yourself up with your coconut body wash. As the warm water trailed down your body, you thought about how much you missed Ben.

_Would he be here tonight? I mean, of course, he would, he lives there!_

_Would he be happy to see me?_

_Oh my god, I have a boyfriend, why am I thinking about Ben like this?_

_He’s practically my brother, and we haven’t talked since I left._

_…_

**_Ten Months Ago- Moving Day_ **

_Today was the day. You were officially moving to New York for your first year of college, and you were pretty much feeling all of the emotions: excited to start a new life, sad about leaving your mom and the Solo family, worried that you won’t keep in touch as much as you promised; since the boys were a grade ahead of you, and have already gone off to college, you already felt like the four of you were starting to drift apart. You were anxious and worried about the transition, wondering how the boys managed to do it with ease. You were distracted from your thoughts when you heard a knock on your door._

_“Mom! I told you, I really don’t need to bring my elementary school yearbooks with me to college.” You groaned._

_“Mom? You’ve never called me that before!” You jumped, as you heard a baritone voice chuckle. When you turned and saw that it was just Ben, just sighed with relief._

_“Thank God it’s you,” You smiled, hugging him. “My mom’s been driving me crazy all day.”_

_“Ah, you know Kathleen means no harm, munchkin.” He kissed the top of your head. You couldn’t help it, but you felt your heart flutter whenever he called you that. When he said it, it was more than just a nickname the Solo family called you. It was special._

_“Yeah, I know, big boy,” You huffed. “It’s a lot to take in for her, but she really can be neurotic sometimes-” You rambled, taking a seat on your bed. Ben followed._

_“She loves you, Y/N. It’s probably really hard for her, knowing that you’re leaving, and she's gonna come home to an empty house every night.”_

_“I know, I know.” You put your head on his shoulder._

_“You know she’s been talking to my mom about it, right?”_

_“Of course she has, they tell each other everything.” You responded, rolling your eyes._

_“Y/N.” He mumbled quietly, turning to look at you._

_“Hm?”_

_“Please promise me something.” He looked worried; scared._

_“What?” You said anxiously, turning your head to look up at him._

_“I know that you’re gonna be super busy up in that huge apple or whatever the hell they call it, but promise me that we will try to call each other at least once a week.”_

_“Of course, Ben! Pinky promise!” You smiled as you stuck out your pinky finger._

_As you both linked pinkies, you were interrupted by your mother calling you._

_“Y/N, we gotta get going!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝑯𝒊 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔! 𝑱𝒂𝒛𝒛 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒇 "𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆"!
> 
> 𝑭𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒖𝒔!
> 
> 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔
> 
> 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛:
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒍7𝒏
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒚𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛472


	4. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have dinner with the solo family and have a heartfelt conversation with aunt Leia.

You walked up the cobblestone pathway that led to the Solo residence, taking a deep breath. Your stomach was full of butterflies, to say the least.

 _“Why am I so anxious? I’ve literally been to their house hundreds of times,”_ you thought,

You patted down your dress, brushed through your hair with your fingertips, and as you took another deep breath, you rang the doorbell.

In only a matter of seconds, Leia opened the door, with a smile on her face. “There’s my girl!” She embraced you, and immediately, warmth surrounds you. You forgot how great of a hugger she was. It was enough to lift your spirits, and although it may seem hyperbolic, it warmed your soul.

“Aunt Leia!!” You said grinning with excitement.

You stepped into the house and the next thing you know, there was a dog jumping up on you. “Aw, Chewie!! I missed you so much.,” you attempt to say, but with Chewie licking your face, it made it almost impossible.

“Y/N!” Han said, standing in the living room doorway. Leia took note of the fact that you wanted to greet Han, so she called Chewie over to her as a distraction.

“Uncle Han!” You said as you stood up. He gave you a big hug. The Solos really had this way of filling your heart and soul with warmth, especially when you needed it the most.

“How have you been, kid?” Han asked with a smile across his face.

“It’s weird being in New York on my own, but other than that I’ve been pretty good. What about you? How’s the shop?” You asked. _Millennium Auto & Body Repairs _had been your first job. You usually helped out with paperwork and accounting, because you had a knack for clerical work, and according to Han, his business associate, Lando, was absolutely terrible at bookkeeping, and he preferred you, a high schooler, to do it instead.

“Not the same without you, Y/N,” he grumbled. That made you smile. You had missed working at the shop. “I tried teaching Ben how to do it, but he’s much better at his hands than using his brains.” You chuckled at the comment.

“You know, Y/N, there’s a spot open, if you want it. Of course, I’d give you a raise and-”

 _“Maybe I’ll get to see Ben,”_ You thought _. “Not that it mattered, but it would be nice to catch up with him.”_ You tried to convince yourself, justifying your want to be around him was not because of anything other than the fact that you missed your childhood best friend.

“Yes, of course, I’ll do it!” You exclaimed eagerly. Han smiled, pulling you into a side hug. He was the father you never had as a child, as yours passed away when you were a baby.

“Happy to have you back, munchkin,” He said with a smile as he pulled away from the hug.

“Matthew, Kylo, get down here, please. Y/N is here!” Leia called from the bottom of the staircase. You felt nostalgic, remembering hearing that phrase many times before.

“Okay, coming!” Matthew responded, and you hear the sound of his door opening.

The hardwood floors creaked as they both came downstairs, making the whole house shake.

“Hey, again.” Matt waves, giving you a hug.

“Hey, guys!” You smiled.

“You couldn’t manage to keep in touch with me, huh?” Kylo grumbled.

“Kylo, you are literally worse than your grandfather at communication. One time, I tried calling you, and all I heard was you breathing? And don’t get me started when you text-”

Kylo cut your rambling off by pulling you into a bear hug.

“You know I mean well, Munchkin.”

“ _Munchkin_? I thought you hated, no _abhorred_ that nickname?” You scoffed.

“ I don’t know, I assume it just grew on me.” He shrugged.

“Well it’s nice to see you again,” You smiled. You really did miss him.

After catching up for a bit, Leia called everyone to the table. You sat next to Kylo and in front of Matt. The aromas of the home-made meal permeated your senses. Leia’s classic _“Chikkie Parm”_ had always been your all-time favorite meal- the marinara sauce, the panko-crusted chicken, and the homemade pasta could be compared to that of a gourmet chef’s. Although Leia was the City Manager, she always made sure to prepare a home-cooked meal for the family at least three times a week.

You took a bite, and your taste buds were reminded of how good home-cooked meals were. It felt as if you were in heaven, as the flavors sent a euphoric sensation through your body.

“So, Y/N, Matt said you were doing well at NYU, huh?” Han asked, sipping his beer.

“Mhm,” you nodded. “It was just a difficult adjustment. I was so homesick, and I missed all of you so much.”

“We missed you too, sweetie. Why didn’t you come to visit?” Leia asked.

“I was so tied up with work and school, that it was almost impossible for me to go anywhere.” You quietly responded, pushing your food around with your fork.

You wanted to tell them the truth- that ever since you had dated Jake, things became more complicated for you. He was insecure, and he loved you so much in his weird, twisted way. You knew that you couldn’t do this to yourself, but you were scared he was going to end up hurting him or yourself, especially since he has threatened to do so before.

“I understand,” Leia interjected. “When I was in college, I was an Honors student, worked five jobs, led three protests a month, and was the president of four clubs.”

“Honey, you’re exaggerating,” Han commented. “She worked two jobs, Y/N.”

“Darling, don’t interrupt me.” She chided. “The point is, that I am glad that you are doing your best at school.”

Han groaned. The couple started to bicker as you and the boys stared at each other awkwardly.

“So, where’s Ben?” You inquired, attempting to change the subject.

“StarKiller” Kylo answered briefly, twirling his spaghetti.

Knowing you were confused, Matt added, “It’s the name of that club he works at, you know? The bartending gig I told you about?”

“Oh, yeah.” You nodded sheepishly, taking a bite of your food.

You wished he were here. In a certain way, your heart ached, knowing that you both were so close, and yet so far away. You then felt another pain but this time it was your gut, the feeling of guilt for not talking to your family more often, for making unnecessary excuses as to why you weren’t able to keep in touch. _You were disgusting, foolish, and stupid._

**…**

After everyone finished dinner, you entered the kitchen to wash your dish and you happened to find Leia standing over the sink, wiping down the plates.

“Shouldn’t Matt and Kylo be doing this?” You said, startling Leia. She had almost dropped the glass plate onto the floor. You immediately apologized, “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry Y/N, I know you didn’t mean any harm,” Leia responded. “And about the boys… well, it’s fine, they can do them tomorrow.” She added with a laugh. _“Poor Aunty Leia. They could’ve at least washed their own plates.”_ You thought.

“Well, I don’t mind helping, especially after you work so hard on the meal.” You said as you made your way beside her. You grabbed the extra sponge and soaked it into the soapy water. As you picked up a dirty plate and began scrubbing it, Leia said “Thank you Y/N. You’ve always been so helpful and sweet.” She said while giving you a little hip bump.

“Anytime.” You rinsed off your dish and picked up another one, repeating the same process.

“So Y/N…” You already knew what was coming next and braced yourself for the conversation. “Are you seeing anyone?” Leia added.

“Well…” You sighed. Thinking about Jake right now was the last thing you wanted to do.

“Yes, I am dating someone.”

“That’s great!” She commented with a smile.

“Mhm.” You nodded, trying to conceal your true emotions.

“When are you going to bring him over to meet us?”

“Um, I’m not sure yet. Things aren’t really going well between us right now.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart. Do you wanna talk about it, or…”

“It’s just, he’s been acting differently lately, in a bad way, and I don’t know if I should end things, or try to make things better. And it’s just so difficult because I really care about him, but it’s just so challenging because I feel like I’m the only one trying to work things out.” You rambled, eyes watering.

“Oh, honey.” Leia pulled you into a hug, stroking your hair. “I know this is going to be hard to hear, but you deserve so much better. You’re young, beautiful, and you have so much to experience in life. You can’t waste it on someone who doesn’t treat you right.”

“You’re so right,” You nodded, crossing your arms. “I should end things, but I just don’t know how.”

“Start with the truth, honey. The rest will follow.”

Telling Leia about your true feelings about Jake was as if a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. You finally realized at that moment, you really needed to end things. You can’t do this to yourself.

**…**

“Goodnight, you guys! Thank you so much for having me!” You said.

“Of course, sweetheart! It’s always a pleasure to see you!” Leia smiled, hugging you.

“It was great seeing you, Y/N.” Kylo said, hugging you.

“It really was.” Matt chimed.

“I missed you guys so much.”

“Don’t forget, you start work at nine tomorrow morning!” Han yelled from the living room. He was watching _Storage Wars_ with Chewie beside him.

“Okay!” You smiled, as you headed out the door, walking over to your house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝑯𝒊 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔! 𝑱𝒂𝒛𝒛 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒐𝒇 "𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆"!
> 
> 𝑭𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒖𝒔!
> 
> 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔
> 
> 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛:
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒍7𝒏
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒚𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛472


	5. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's your first day back at your old job, and you reunite with an old friend.

Your alarm rang, signifying it was time to wake up and start your day. Enthusiasm filled your mind, as you were excited about going back to work at the shop. You begin to get ready for your day, putting on some high waisted jeans and a crop top. You apply some light makeup and comb your hair. After examining your appearance in the mirror, you head downstairs.

You see that your mother is already up, reading the newspaper and drinking her coffee.

“Good morning, mama.” You said as you walked over to her. You gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek.

“How was dinner last night with the Solos?” She asked, sipping her coffee.

“It was great. Han gave me my old job for the summer.”

“That’s good! You’ll have something to keep you busy.”

“Mhm,” You nodded, going into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee to go. “Do you work tonight?”

“Yes, ma’am.” She replied. You wished she was more concerned about the fact that she wouldn’t be spending time with you tonight once again, but you brushed it off.

“Oh, alright.” You responded, pouring your coffee into your mug.

“Hey, where are the keys to my car? I’m gonna drive it to work.” You asked after making your coffee. For obvious reasons, you did not bring your car with you to the city because of the traffic, and taking the sub and walking everywhere made much more sense.

“In the bowl, as usual.” You nodded and grabbed them from the table in the hall.

“Bye, ma. Have a good day at work!” You hollered.

“Love you, sweetie!” She replied as you exited the house.

**…**

The ten-minute drive to work was refreshing. Seeing all of the quaint Mom and Pop stores that you used to frequent made you happy, like Luci’s, a quaint little thrift store that you would frequent at least once a month with Matt since you both had an affinity for a good bargain.

You pulled up to the shop and parked. As you got out of the car, you could see that Han and Lando were arguing over something menial, you assumed.

“Of course the engine isn’t working, Lando! Did you even check the coolant levels?” Han grumbled.

For two business partners, they rarely got along.

“Of course I did Han, I just think it’s hydro locked. ” Lando hissed, crossing his arms.

“Goodmorning!” You waved, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Y/N!” It’s great to see ya!” Lando beamed, walking over to give you a hug.

“Morning, kiddo.” Han greeted.

“I made you a to-do list. Nothing too difficult. I just need some filing and invoices sent. You know the drill.” Han chuckled.

“Sound’s good, boss.” You nodded, and you walked up to the office.

_Wow, the place really hasn’t changed._

You hung your bag on the chair and noticed that the desk was a mess, which was not a huge surprise to you. Knowing that you wouldn’t get any work done until you had an organized workspace, you started sorting out the scattered items where they belonged. Once you finished, you examined the to-do list that Han made for you, and started with the first task: filing. There were two milk crates full of random papers, which probably have not been sorted since you left for college. You sorted through all of the contracts, letters, and receipts, putting them in their designated places. You were in the zone. Something about filing soothed you; possibly due to the fact that you are putting things where they were meant to be. All of a sudden, you heard a knock at the door, which startled you.

“Huh?” You said instinctually. You heard someone laugh as they opened the door.

_Ben._

“Look what the cat dragged in.” He smirked, as you jumped up to hug him.

“What do you mean, ‘dragged in’? You were the one who came into the office!’ You laughed, hugging him tighter, as he rolled his eyes.

“Whatever,” He remarked. “I can’t believe you got shorter after the last time I saw you, _Munchkin_.” He wasn’t completely wrong as he did, in fact, tower over you.

You blushed at the nickname, rolling your eyes. “Shut up, Solo.”

“How’s NYC treatin’ ya?” He asked, leaning on the desk, with his arms crossed.

“The first year was good. I was homesick a lot.”

“Oh, were you?”

“Mhm.” You nodded.

“So why didn’t yo-”

“Get back to work, Ben! You’re distracting my finest employee!” Han yelled from the garage. You laughed, as Ben groaned.

“We’ll finish this conversation later, _Y/L/N_.” He winked, heading out the door.

“Okay, _Ben_ Solo.” You laughed, as you resumed working.

**…**

****As you finished inputting the last invoice into the system, you sighed in relief. Although the work wasn’t hard, you were happy to cross the last task off of your list.

“How are things going down here?” Han walked in, startling you a bit.

“Oh, actually, I just finished everything.” You said with a smile.

“Well done Y/N. I knew I could count on you.” He patted your shoulder and began to head out.

“You done for the day, boss?” You asked.

“Yeah. Leia is making me go on one of our date nights,” He groaned, scratching his neck.

“Oh, _how unfortunate_.” You said sarcastically.

Han _despised_ going out on dates, but he loved Leia so much, so he always tried to do his best to make her happy- even if it meant him being a bit disgruntled.

“Yeah, well, I’ll see you around, kid.” Han walked past you and did a finger gun.

You did some additional finishing touches on some work, and once you were satisfied, you began making mental notes of what tasks would have to be completed tomorrow. “Paperwork, voicemails, more filing-”

“Fuck!” You jumped as you heard a voice screech from the garage. You assumed that you were alone this whole time- but you picked up a random wrench, just in case.The beating of your heart only got louder and louder as your anxiety levels rose.

You walked out of the office and into the garage, slowly, carrying the wrench like a baseball bat. But when you saw that it was just Ben, you sighed in relief, and put the tool down, concerned as he groaned in pain.

“What did you do this time, Solo?” You made your way over to him.

“I- _fuck,_ bumped my head on the, uh, hood thing.” He winced, rubbing his head.

“Come here, let me take a look at it.” You said with a concerned tone.

“No. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fi-” Ben was unable to finish his sentence as he let out a groan.

“Ben, stop being a baby. It clearly hurts. Please, let me help you.”

“Fine.” He sighed, playfully rolling his eyes with a smirk on his face.

Ben made his way over to you with his hand on his head. You sat on top of the counter, hoping to make it easier since he was _extremely_ tall. He still ended up having to crouch a bit.

You examined his head, pushing back his soft, black locks of hair around with your fingers, feeling his scalp for any bumps or wounds. “Ow.” he said, moving his head away as your fingertips skimmed over his cut. “Ben, you’re bleeding.” You said with a slight tremble in your voice. Ben noticed and met his eyes with yours. “Y/N, I’ll be fine. It’s only a little cut. Don’t worry about me.” Ben assured you. Butterflies filled your stomach as you stared into his sweet and luminous eyes.

“Do you, uh know where the first aid kit is?” You said, wanting to break the long gaze.

“Do we really need-”

“Yes, Big Boy- or should I say- Big _Baby_ ” You chuckled, as Ben rolled his eyes.

“It’s really not _that_ funny, Y/N..” Ben said as he pointed to a cabinet, signifying that the kit was there. You opened the cabinet and grabbed the kit, taking out the supplies needed..

“Not even just a little funny?” You said sarcastically while putting some rubbing alcohol on a cotton pad. He winced, as you tried your best to gently dab the alcohol on the small cut.

“Sorry about that,” you chuckled. “Guess you don't have the facilities for that, big man.” You snickered, as you applied a Band-Aid to the wound.

“Thanks, kid.” He smiled at you, as you cleaned up the supplies.

“Anytime, _man child._ ” You smiled back, walking over to get a bottle of water and two Advils to relieve Ben’s pain.

“So what are you up to tonight?” Ben asked, leaning on the counter with his toned arms crossed.

“Nothing, really. Mom’s working late at night, per usual, and I’m probably just going to spend the night alone, ordering Chinese, and watching whatever looks good on tv.” You replied, handing over the water bottle and pain medication. You decided not to mention that you and Jake were supposed to call tonight, or just even Jake in general. You were still upset and heartbroken over his actions lately and the argument you both had the day before and wanted some time to clear your head and at least _try_ to enjoy yourself for once.

“You are _not_ going to spend your Friday night alone, kid, especially since you practically abandoned your best friend for a better part of a year.” He joked dramatically. You felt your heart flutter and although you didn’t expect him to say that, you were happy he did.

“Okay, then where exactly am I spending my _Friday night_?” You said sarcastically, crossing your arms.

“Well, you haven’t been to my club. You should come with me tonight.”

“You’re in no condition to go to the club, you probably have a concussion.” You said jokingly.

“What do you mean, a concussion, I literally just hit my head on the hood-“

“I’m just teasing you, Solo!” You nudged his arm, laughing.

“But,” He paused, taking a sip of water. “do you want to hang out?”

“I mean, yeah, but to be honest, I think I just want to stay home tonight.” You crossed your arms.

“Of course ya do, Munchkin.” He smiled, cupping your cheek. “How about this? Great Wall delivery, a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and _Rosemary’s Baby_?”

 _He remembered._ You thought to yourself. _Our Friday night tradition._

You nodded, smiling. “That-that sounds absolutely perfect, Solo. Count me in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝒉𝒊 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆! 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 "𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆"! 𝒘𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒅!
> 
> 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂
> 
> 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔
> 
> 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛:
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒍7𝒏
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒚𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛472


	6. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben comes over for movie night, but things take a negative turn

You had just gotten home from work, with about two hours until Ben said he was going to come over, and all of a sudden, you realized that the house was an absolute mess. You scurried around the house, persistent over the fact that it had to be  _ spotless, pristine- perfect _ . This included cleaning every room in the house, even if you two would only be spending the night in the living room.

Once you deemed the house acceptable for a guest (or more specifically,  _ Ben) _ , you decided that it was time for you to get ready. Hopping in the shower, you tried your best not to take as long as you usually would. This resulted in you deciding not to wash your hair, as you washed it the night before and deemed it unnecessary. Shutting off the water, you stepped onto the bath mat and wrapped yourself in a towel. After doing your complete skin-care routine, you made your way to your closet. You decided that you’d wear pajamas, like old times. Your favorite set was in the wash, so instead, you decided on wearing a black silk and lace nightgown, with a matching robe. You started combing your hair when you received a notification on your phone: 

**_Instagram: @ayoitsticooo tagged @jake.jpeg in a post._ **

You tapped on the notification, curious to see what the post was. Once you unlocked your phone, your heart dropped and your breath became heavy, thoughts racing at a million miles an hour. You stared in shock at a video, captioned, _“About last night…”_ with what appeared to be Jake, grabbing some gi- _wait, was that Cali from your Shakespearean Studies Course_ _making out._

You felt as if you were punched in the face with a flurry of emotions. Your heart sunk, your throat began to tighten, and you felt tears well in your eyes. You attempted to ground yourself, taking deep breaths, but it was hopeless. 

_ “ _ _ Am I just not good enough?”  _ You thought as you sank down to the tiled floor of your bathroom, covering your mouth to muffle your loud sobs.

As much as you loved Jake, you had a sliver of hope that he would have been just as loyal as he expected you to be. He forced you to cut ties from your friends and made everything about him. 

_ This was the last straw. _

You couldn’t help but just break down and cry. It felt like everything was swirling around you.

_ “How could I have been this fucking stupid? Maybe he was right- I am incapable of being loved. I’m pathetic, worthless, dis-” _

You heard someone ring the doorbell.  _ Ben.  _ You didn’t want him to see you like this. You immediately ran to the sink and washed your face, using cool water to help the swelling of your eyes to go down. You looked back up at the mirror, hoping to look at least a bit decent. Your face was still extremely red, eyes puffy, and lips swollen. Taking one last look in the mirror, adjusting your nightgown, you made your way to the front door to welcome your guest. You took one last deep breath before opening the door. 

“Hey, kid.” Ben said with enthusiasm. He was wearing a relaxed black shirt and gray sweatpants. 

“Hey.” You responded, trying to make as little eye contact as possible. You felt bad for being unable to match his tone of enthusiasm, but you just didn’t have the strength right now. 

“I brought some of your favorite snacks.” Ben said smiling. You assumed he noticed your mood was a little off and wanted to make an attempt to cheer you up. “Thanks,” you said, trying to insert a little laugh between your words to reduce suspicion. Your eyes were still focused on the floor. 

He entered the house and you led him to your living room couch, where you would be watching the movie. He set the snacks down on the glass coffee table and turned to you. 

“Hey munchkin, is something wrong? You seem a little bit off…” He asked with concern. “Yeah. Everything's fine- I’m fine.” You responded with a slight shake in your voice, as the tears were getting harder and harder to hold back. You shifted your focus to the carpet, once again avoiding eye contact.

He made his way over to you, his body inches away from yours. He placed his hand under your chin and forced you to stare into his eyes. His dark brown sparkling eyes. You could stare into them for an eternity.

“Y/N, you don’t have to lie to me. I’m here for you.” He said, pulling you into a heartfelt embrace. In that exact moment, you could no longer contain your emotions. Tears fell and your vision became blurry as if there had been a storm brewing in your eyes for weeks. You buried your head into Ben’s chest. In the middle of sobbing, you attempted to apologize for crying but nothing came out. Only more gasps for breath.

Ben pulled you closer, and the hug became tighter as he squeezed you in his arms. He didn’t care that you were leaving wet spots of snot and tears on his shirt. He just wanted you to feel safe _.  _ Ben placed his hand on the back of your head, running his fingers through your hair. His other hand rubbing your back. “It’s okay. I’m here” 

_ I’m here.  _ Hearing those words meant so much to you. You were glad he was here. The warmth of his body against yours and the soft rhythm of his heartbeat somehow calmed you. You did, in fact, feel safe. Safe in his arms. You wanted to stay here forever. 

After a few minutes of standing in each other’s arms, your breathing finally calmed down and you were no longer suffocated by your emotions. You broke the long hold and looked up at him. 

“I-I’m sorry-”

“Y/N, don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to help you.”

“It’s just that-”

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I don’t want to force it out of-”

“No, I do. It’s Jake. H-he-” You started choking up again.

Ben placed his hand where your shoulder and neck met. He used his other hand to move a single lock of hair behind your ear. Your gaze met his. 

“It’s okay, Y/N.” 

“Th-there was a post, and, he was- he was making out with this girl.” You anxiously played with your hands. 

“I- why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He said as he pulled you into a hug.

“I don’t know. He doesn’t like it when I talk to other people about us-” You shrugged your shoulders. “Especially when they’re guys.” You added. 

Ben broke apart the hug and put his arms on your shoulders, to make eye contact with you as he spoke. “Y/N if you’re upset, it doesn’t matter what anyone else wants you to do. You should’ve told someone. You should’ve told _ me _ .” He said as he sat on the couch, taking your hand, and pulling you next to him. He wasn’t mad. There was no anger in his voice, only concern, and empathy.

“I care about you.” He added as he placed his left hand on your thigh. Your heart was fluttering. His warm touch on your bare thigh sent waves of electricity throughout your whole body. An unknown sensation filled your heart, something you had only now been introduced to. You felt cared for.  _ Loved. _

“Ben-” You said, analyzing his face, examining all of his features, especially his lips. They looked so soft and perfect, you wanted them to meet yours ever so badly. With his left hand still resting on your thigh, he used his right and placed it on the side of your cheek, rubbing it with this thumb. His touch felt like it was  _ meant for you _ . 

He moved closer to your face, looking down at your lips, and then back at your eyes. This was it, you were going to kiss. He was only centimeters away from you, you could feel his warm breath on your nose. He- 

Your phone lit up and the default iPhone ringtone consumed the silence.  _ Ugh. _

Almost simultaneously, you both turned your heads to see who was calling at this hour. It was from  _ Jake _ . It felt as if you were hit by a bus as the memories of what happened earlier that night filled your brain.  _ “Why now?” _

“Just-Just leave it.” You sighed. 

Ben completely ignored your words and almost instantaneously grabbed the phone. Your eyes widened. “Ben!” You yelped, trying to take the phone from his hands. He stood up and held your phone in the air, knowing you wouldn’t be able to grab it due to his height. He smiled as you jumped up over and over, trying your best to get it back. “Hey calm down, Munchkin, I got this.” He said, answering the phone. Your heartbeat increased rapidly. “Ben-” You stopped as you heard Jake’s voice.

“Hey, babe,” Jake said. You got up on the couch and reached for your phone once again. This time you got it. A slight weight was lifted from your chest but it still felt heavy as Jake was still on the phone. 

“Babe?” He repeated, this time in a deeper tone. Ben stared at you, worry filling his dark brown eyes. It pained you to look at them. 

“What do you want, Jake?” You said in an annoyed tone. 

“What do you mean? I’m just checking up on you!” 

“I- I saw the video, Jake. It’s-”

“Oh. I, um, wanted to talk to you about that. It’s just been super tough for me, you know, ever since  _ you’ve _ been gone. Who’s supposed to be there for me? I mean if you never left, this wouldn’t have happened.” 

_“I’m always there for him, putting up with all his bullshit and he wants to blame me?”_ You thought to yourself. Anger started boiling up inside you, your face turned red, and you clenched your fist. 

Ben noticed and he went to put his hand on your shoulder, as an attempt to comfort you but you turned away in rage. “Are you fucking kidding me? You know what Jake, it's over. We’re fucking done.”

“Babe wait I’m sor-.” Jake was unable to finish his sentence and you hung up, tossing the phone on the couch. You sat yourself down, resting your head in your palms, and for what felt like the tenth time of the night, you began crying.

Ben sat down next to you and put right his arm around you. With his left he pulled your head into his shoulder, once more, allowing you to cry all over his shirt. 

“I’m so sorry, Ben.” You apologized. It felt so weird finally being able to let everything out, you hadn’t been used to this.

“Y/N, I told you, it’s okay. I’m here.” His voice was so soothing and the feeling of his fingers massaging your head made you want to drift off into sleep. Your eyes began to shut and Ben picked it up right away. 

“Kid, Don’t fall asleep on me yet. We haven’t even watched the movie.” Ben laughed, letting his hold on you go. 

“I guess you’re right.” You said with a smile as you sat up, removing yourself from Ben’s shoulder. 

You got up, grabbed the remote from the coffee table, and put the movie on. When you turned around, you saw Ben covered in half of a blanket. He was waiting for you to sit next to him so you could be covered with the other half. A smile surfaced on your face as you made your way back to the couch. You sat down, snuggled up beside him, and he threw the rest of the blanket over you as you placed your head back on his shoulder. Not long after, the comfort of his arm allowed you to doze off. 

Ben noticed, and a little smile grew on his face. He didn’t care that you fell asleep during the movie, he was just glad you were at peace. He got up, trying to make as little movement as possible, to avoid waking you up. That obviously didn’t work but you went with it, keeping your eyes shut. Ben stood there for a few seconds, admiring you in your sleep, before swooping you up in his arms. He carried you, like a parent would when their child fell asleep in the car after a long ride. When Ben finally reached your room, he opened the door with his foot and walked over to your bed. He placed your body in your bed and pulled the covers over you, tucking you in. “Goodnight, Munchkin.” Ben said as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

_ “Goodnight, Ben.” _ You thought, as you drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒗𝒆!
> 
> 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂!
> 
> 𝑭𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒖𝒔!
> 
> 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒂
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔
> 
> 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛:
> 
> ★ 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒍7𝒏
> 
> ★ 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕: 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒚𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛472


	7. chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the morning after your movie night with ben, and things get... interesting.

Ben had his arm around your shoulder, your buried head into his chest. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating. He turned his head towards you, and you both smiled with locked eyes. Ben placed a kiss on your forehead, another on the bridge of your nose, and another on your lips.

“Come here,” Ben chuckled. You climbed over his leg and wrapped yours around his back. He pulled you closer, placing his arms around you. He began peppering kisses all over your face, making you giggle.

“Knock it off,” You laughed. His little amount of facial hair brushed against your smooth skin. “It tickles!” “Alright, Munchkin.” Ben obeyed, as he stopped smothering you in kisses. Confused, you paused. _You didn’t think he would actually listen._ You stared at him, trying to show him your best puppy dog eyes, hoping he would notice, but all he did was avoid you, pretending to look at random objects in the room. Not knowing what to do you placed your hands on his cheeks and met your lips with his, resulting in a long passionate kiss. He paused, “It’s almost impossible to ignore you, you know that, right?” A smile grew on your face and your cheeks turned red. You turned your head away, continuing to smile. He pulled you back into his arms and kissed your cheek, then moved down to your neck. His soft lips touched your skin and you felt the tingling sensation of his facial hair, as he began sucking on your neck.

You loved this feeling. Maybe even _craved_ it. You ran your fingers through his ebony locks, as he continued to leave marks on your throat. He moved down to your collarbone and repeated the process, dropping marks here and there. “Ben,” you moaned. You bit your lip, attempting to not make any noise, as your mother was one door down. He moved his fingers to the bottom of your shirt, as you put your arms up, knowing he wanted it off. He paused, examining your body with a mixture of love and lust in his eyes.

“Y/N,” he murmured, as he ceased his actions.

“What’s up?” You sensed something odd, as you could tell that he was struggling to respond.

“Y/N, I-” Before he had the ability to complete your thought, he was gone.

You sat up in your bed, breathing heavily, as the sunshine burst through your window, blinding you.

 _“What the hell?”_ You were stunned, as your subconscious fooled you into believing that encounter was real, as the feelings you had felt were. You groaned into your pillow, devastated and angry, as you had a pang of longing for your _goddamn_ childhood best friend.

Gaining consciousness, your senses slowly came back to you, as the sweet aroma of your mother’s blueberry waffles hit you.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you put your robe on and went downstairs. Halfway down the stairs, you hear a baritone voice, paired with your mother’s.

_Matty?_

Recognizing the voice, you eagerly picked up the pace. “G’ morning, Matty!” You exclaimed as he came up to give you a warm embrace. “Morning.” He greeted you in return. His bleached blonde hair was a little damp, signifying that he showered this morning.

“Morning Mama.” You went up to your mother, who was wiping down the kitchen counter and gave her an affectionate side hug. Pulling away, you made your way to the coffee machine and started brewing a cup. You turned around, back leaning on the counter, focusing your attention on Matt. “So, what brings you here so early?” You said with smiling eyes.

“Y/N, did you really forget?” Matty said with a little chuckle in his voice. Your brain was saying “no thoughts, head empty,” as you couldn’t bring yourself to remember if you had made any plans with him. “Forget what?” You said with your brain still puzzled.

“Our plans? You know how we were supposed to go thrift shopping together?” As if a flip was switched in your head, you instantly remembered what _plans_ he had been talking about. “Oh my god, I’m sorry, it’s no excuse, but yesterday was crazy.” You said, pinching your nose.

“I know, Y/N.” He chuckled. “It’s totally fine if you want to can-”

“Don’t even think about it, Matty! I’ll be ready in like twenty!” You added, playfully rolling your eyes.

Exiting the kitchen, you ran up the stairs, rushing to get ready. You washed your face, ran a comb through your hair, not even bothering to put any makeup on because the pressure to hurry was eating you up. This, of course, was brought upon you by the guilt building up inside of you. Speeding to your closet, you threw on some mom jeans and a white crop top, as they were the first things you could find. You put on some socks and your trusty Air Force Ones and checked your appearance in your mirror, shocked when you realized that you forgot something:

_The locket._

**…**

**_Graduation Night, Last Year_ **

_“Okay, who’s ready for some cake?” Leia chimed, as your mother and her were cleaning up the table. Leia, of course, with her hospitable ways, concocted a feast to celebrate your graduation. Of course, you offered to help with the cleaning, but since today was technically your day, they begged to differ._

_“I’d love to, but I can_ ’ _t, I’m super full,” You said, patting your stomach. You felt bad for denying her offer, but you really couldn’t handle any more food._

_“Oh, sweetie, are you sure?” Leia asked as she put her hand on your shoulder. “It’s your favorite!” She grinned. You despised your stomach for not begging to be stuffed with Leia’s chocolate marble cake with buttercream frosting. “Maybe later. I really am stuffed.” You laughed, not wanting to sound rude, which was the last thing you wanted to do, but you simply just could not eat anymore after that amazing meal._

_Ben, who was sitting beside you at the dining table, gave you a nudge. He motioned his head towards the backdoor and got up from his seat. You nodded, discreetly slipping away from the table, and followed him. Wondering if anyone had noticed, you turned around to take a look back at the dining area, seeing that your mom and the boys’ parents were chatting over a bottle of wine, and Matt and Kylo had vanished to their own rooms._

_Ben opened the door and led you to the old swing set that you used to play on when you and the boys were younger. The chains were a bit rusty from wear and tear; making a slight squeak as the wind blew. You sat on the yellow swing, looking down at your dangling legs, as you rocked back and forth._

_Ben huffed, pushing his ebony locks back, as he sat on the one beside you. You both looked up at the stars, enjoying the night’s silence for a few moments, as the only noises that were prominent were the chirping of crickets and the swaying of tree branches._

_You decided to break the silence. “So, what’s up?” You asked, placing your foot on the ground to stabilize the swing._

_“The sky, kid.” Ben smirked, as you rolled your eyes._

_“No, really, Solo. You’ve been awfully quiet today, which is a huge shocker.”_

_“What are you implying, Munchkin?” He playfully kicked your leg._

_“I dunno. It- it’s just that this whole day, we’ve barely talked. When we took pictures, you barely smiled. And during dinner, I don’t know… it just felt as- as if something wasn't right.” You tried to explain, but you stumbled with your speech. You looked over to him but his attention was focused on the ground._

_“Y/N,” He paused, breaking his stare, and turning his head to face you. “Everything is totally fine, Munchkin. I’ve just been meaning to give you something.” He said as he reached into his pocket. His head turned back to the floor. He was nervous._

_“What is it, Solo? Why are you so nervous? It’s just me, you know.” You smiled, placing your hand on his thigh._

_“Y/N, I-it’s not you, uhm, ” He stammered, scratching the back of his head. “Okay, so before I, uhm, give you this, I just want to say, that I know this year has been pretty strange, since we started college, and you still in school, and we haven’t kept in touch as much as we wanted to and whatever- but I just wanted to give you this so you don’t forget-” He paused, and you looked at his eyes. Full of worry, full of anxiety._

_“Forget what?” The calmness in your soft voice and the sincerity in your eyes soothed him, as he began to continue his sentence._

_“Y/N, you’re going to New York. And you’re gonna meet so many cool people, and, uhm, I, I mean, uhm, we, just- ” Confusion brewed in your head._

_“Ben, what are you talking about? I could never forget you guys. You guys mean everything to me. Especially you, Ben. You’re my best friend.” You giggled._

_His chest grew and slowly deflated as he let out a slow breath. You wondered if you had said something wrong, but came to the decision that it would be best not to mention it._ _There was a brief moment of silence, until Ben sheepishly pulled something- a small black velvet box, out of his pocket, handing it to you._

_You smiled, opening the box, and your eyes met a lovely gold heart-shaped locket._

_“Ben… I have no words, it- it's beautiful!” You held the piece of jewelry in your hands, smiling._

_“Erm, thanks.” He smiled awkwardly, “You should, uhm, check what’s inside.” He mumbled. You nodded as you opened the locket and saw two images: one was from when you were about five, and the triplets were six. It was the day Han brought Chewie home. Leia must have taken that picture. The second picture was from last year’s prom night. They all had prom dates, but this photo only had you and the boys, where your mothers playfully insisted that you all do that one corny prom pose._

_Your eyes began to water, with a flurry of emotions overpowering you, as the memories started flowing through your mind._

_You sniffed. “Can you, uh put this on, please?” You asked, wiping some loose tears with the back of your hand._

_“Yeah, sure, of course.” He nodded. Ben moved your hair aside, giving him easy access to your neck. You handed him the locket, and he placed it around your neck. You felt at ease when all of a sudden, a voice called out from the house._

_“What are you guys doing?” Kylo asked, startling you two. Apparently neither of you noticed that the backdoor was left open._

_“Uh, nothing.” You both said in unison._

_“Um, okay? Mom and Kathy want you guys to come inside.”_

_“Alright, we’re coming,” Ben said looking back at you, motioning his head towards the door. Holding your locket as it lay across your chest, you followed behind Ben, making your way into the house._

**_…_ **

You put the locket on, completing your outfit, and grabbed your bag. Heading out the door and down the stairs, you noticed a patient Matt passing time on his phone, sitting on the couch.

“Thank you so much for waiting, Matty,” You said, patting him on the shoulder.

“It’s no problem.” He smiled, shrugging as he got up off the couch.

“Bye Mom, I love you!” You shouted from the living room.

“Bye Kathy!” Matt waved.

“Bye sweetheart, stay safe, you too!” She called.

Matt opened the front door for you, and you both went into his car, eager for the plans you had for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝒉𝒆𝒚, 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔!  
> 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒔𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒕!   
> 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒋𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂!


End file.
